I've been gone for so long. I know. The purpose of all this was to keep a record. And I have to dig up the little scraps in the bottom of my pocketbook and elaborate and post.
So, what's going on? I just got back from Atlanta last night. I have to say, I can see myself there. It was as eerie as that San Francisco feeling, much the opposite of the Louisiana feeling - as I hopped out of a pick-up in my black heels (circa 2004) and sunk (literally, it made a plop sound) into the Louisana "grass" which is really just green mud.
Spent the weekend with J, and her absolutely adorable nephew. Not only is it refreshing to spend time with a best friend, and a pleasant baby - but to see a healthy relationship. I see so much badness in my observations on boyfriend/girlfriend relationships of my friends. It's not quite like a warning light, but it's more of a chuckle as I can smell that their relationship is representative of the smell of bile. Yes, kids, this really happens to me.
Finished a David Sedaris book, and I wished he was a woman over and over again, as I chuckled and laughed outright throughout the book. That's the only thing standing in the way for full author-love to commence.
The plane back was well, interesting. J and I were seated far away from one another, and the lovely pudgy black flight attendant desk person wouldn't switch us. We boarded with the idea that we would ask the people around us. I asked, but the gentleman next to me was with his wife, and the asian dude on the other aisle didn't speak english. I traveled to J's seat to inquire further - told her about some issues with a little girl who was screaming her head off - and I notice the man in front of her is turned facing me as well.
Man: "Did you want to switch? Where are you sitting?"
Me: "35C. Up there. It's in the aisle."
Pause.
Man from behind me: "You gotta take the aisle!"
Pause.
Man: "Ok."
I turn around to walk back.
Man: "Where are you going?"
Me: "To get my stuff."
Man: "It's gonna cost ya."
Me: "What?!"
Man: "A phone number, maybe. I don't know."
I laugh, and come back in a flash with my bag. There is an awkward moment where we both try to fit through the aisle.
Mission accomplished: Seat secured near Jessica so she can pull my ponytail when she wants to tell me something.
Men: 0
Me: 1
And yes, I've started a competition. I'm not giving out my digits. These whores are going to have to work for it a bit. I'm hoping to weed out insecurity and those men who aren't all that cute, and then after dating them for 3 months, I look around and go - why am I not dating THAT? Referring to some beautiful specimen at the next table.
As you all know, a certain man is leaving me for the very clean and inspiring city of angels. My friends are currently taking bets on what his next move will be. All of my chips are off the table, I ate them.
Look for some emotional posts in the future where I discuss. I'm practicing my "fuck you, I'm fabulous" attitude.
