Birthday Reconciliation: He came. And he was wonderful.
And everything on my birthday was wonderful. I got to see my bee after my family had left. I have to say it was one of my best birthdays in quite some years.
And now I am off to pretty myself to prepare for tonight. To celebrate the eve of the new year. With Beau, but J's beforehand. I still feel like I am losing a little piece of my life by deciding to spend the night with him versus my friends. I am told that this thought is irrational, and that I am somewhat obligated to spend the night with him. I don't feel this way at all; I don't feel that I should HAVE to spend the night with him; that I HAVE to kiss my boy at midnight. Wrong? Maybe, but I don't care. I'm choosing to spend the night with him, and choosing to give up a night with my friends, whether it's J or Jay or Bee or Law or C. Choosing to be there at midnight to look into his eyes and smile. And I like my choice. I like it alot.
........... I still feel there is so much to reconcile before I can accept the new year. Before I can start over fresh. 2008 was so.... hectic. So all over the place. My thoughts bounced and my ideas and theories conflicted. I am glad that it is over... I am glad that I can positively move forward. That I have the chance to.
That I am right where I want to be....
snuggling under the covers, having drinks with friends, dancing the night away, hearing the snap of beer cans, cozying up into the crook of his arm, becoming embedded in a soft kiss, the embrace of my most favorite girls, the sound of hearty laughter...
Have a safe night. Happy New Year.
