Dear Mother Nature,
Stop fucking with me! I can't stay awake from the histamines my body is producing 24 hours a day, my eyeballs are swollen, and my nose is a constant, running river. You're making me crazy! Don't you want me to be successful and gorgeous?
Thanks,
K*
Monday, May 11, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Just y'know, an update.
Had one of the best nights with Beau last night. Just y'know, eating string cheese in bed while watching the Yankees game. (Until he forced me to watch a special on donuts and how they're made. I was upset because there were no donuts present in the flesh).
I've been running around, handing in paperwork, attending meetings, and trying to keep myself on schedule. I have to work Monday and Tuesday, so I can't go to either of my 4:40 classes next week. This means I have to complete the paper for one, and the project/paper for the other, so that I can hand them both in Friday or this weekend. Not to mention the 5-minute slideshow presentation I have to create for Tuesday evening, or the massive MOUNTAIN of STUDYING for physiology that has to be done for Monday evening. I'm a wee bit stressed, but coffee and bananas help me pull through.
The orientation for Vietnam was this morning, and I won a prize. A journal oddly enough. I had planned on blogging during my trip, but it wouldn't hurt to write some things down when I'm there. And now I have a book to do that in! Irony!
I'm going to get back to sitting in front of a blank Microsoft Word screen and googling "induced movement" and "autokinesis" seventeen different ways until the answers I seek are reached for this perception paper. Later, gators.
I've been running around, handing in paperwork, attending meetings, and trying to keep myself on schedule. I have to work Monday and Tuesday, so I can't go to either of my 4:40 classes next week. This means I have to complete the paper for one, and the project/paper for the other, so that I can hand them both in Friday or this weekend. Not to mention the 5-minute slideshow presentation I have to create for Tuesday evening, or the massive MOUNTAIN of STUDYING for physiology that has to be done for Monday evening. I'm a wee bit stressed, but coffee and bananas help me pull through.
The orientation for Vietnam was this morning, and I won a prize. A journal oddly enough. I had planned on blogging during my trip, but it wouldn't hurt to write some things down when I'm there. And now I have a book to do that in! Irony!
I'm going to get back to sitting in front of a blank Microsoft Word screen and googling "induced movement" and "autokinesis" seventeen different ways until the answers I seek are reached for this perception paper. Later, gators.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Five Food Groups
Spring has sprung! And my eyeballs have also sprung! (into two swollen, itchy nuisances).
There is so much uncertainty. I want to know what will happen, with my relationships, with my financial/work/living situation. I need to know how and when it will change. Unfortunately, I can never know any of these things. I have to accept it, and channel it.
As Beau said last night, I am an "adult." I need to "release" this feeling. And he's right. I do. It is interfering in my love life.
In addition, this uncertainty is also due to my lack of friendships at the moment. I have been forced (in moving and packing and unpacking) to look at old photos and reminisce. And by old photos I refer to 2007. 2007 was a terrible year for me, full of trauma and alcohol-induced craziness. It wasn't that long ago. I frequented many bars with two girls that I never see anymore. Two girls that I barely even like anymore. And these are my best friends, the girls that I call when shit goes down, when I'm crying hysterically, when I've broken a windshield. And yet, I can't even do that anymore. I can't call them, I can't confide in them, I do not want to.
They've lost privileges to my life events.
But I need them. The other aspects of my life are faltering. I need them.
And in regards to alcohol, I've been keeping my distance this year, in an attempt to grow up. I came to the conclusion this morning that I'm full of myself, and have been parading around as someone I am not at all. I'm getting trashed this weekend (and maybe Tuesday too).
There is so much uncertainty. I want to know what will happen, with my relationships, with my financial/work/living situation. I need to know how and when it will change. Unfortunately, I can never know any of these things. I have to accept it, and channel it.
As Beau said last night, I am an "adult." I need to "release" this feeling. And he's right. I do. It is interfering in my love life.
In addition, this uncertainty is also due to my lack of friendships at the moment. I have been forced (in moving and packing and unpacking) to look at old photos and reminisce. And by old photos I refer to 2007. 2007 was a terrible year for me, full of trauma and alcohol-induced craziness. It wasn't that long ago. I frequented many bars with two girls that I never see anymore. Two girls that I barely even like anymore. And these are my best friends, the girls that I call when shit goes down, when I'm crying hysterically, when I've broken a windshield. And yet, I can't even do that anymore. I can't call them, I can't confide in them, I do not want to.
They've lost privileges to my life events.
But I need them. The other aspects of my life are faltering. I need them.
And in regards to alcohol, I've been keeping my distance this year, in an attempt to grow up. I came to the conclusion this morning that I'm full of myself, and have been parading around as someone I am not at all. I'm getting trashed this weekend (and maybe Tuesday too).
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